Chris the Wedding Crasher
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Chris crashes a wedding of two former contestants. Numerous pairings. For GREENPOKEGUY as a second part to your gift.


_MERRY CHRISTMAS **GREENPOKEGUY**!_

_And may all your Christmases **continue** be filled with Dott and Codette (and ChrisTopher)._

_And they will be now, because this has all three in it, and some other pairings.  
_

_And to cap it off, some Scott/Fang bro-ship. Cause they should be everyone's bro-tp._

_I started the other one, and then I wanted to write this... so I did both._

_You'll see how it fits together..._

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_**Summary**: Chris crashes a wedding of two former contestants. Numerous pairings. For GREENPOKEGUY as a second part to your gift.  
_

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**_Chris, the Wedding Crasher  
_**

"You can come in Chef, but you," DJs beady eyes surveyed Chris McLean. "You are not on the list," DJ held the said '_list_' in front of him, making sure that he for sure wasn't on it, even though he'd been told explicitly not to let Chris in.

Chef shrugged at Chris and moved past DJ to enter the reception area, placing his gift down on the table.

"Oh, come on DJ," the washed up has-been presenter clutched at the bulky, athletic DJ's tux, "I'm with the best man. He wants me here."

DJ raised his eyebrows at Chris. "You do realize the best man is a shark right?"

Of course Chris realized that - Fang was his ticket into this joint. "Pffft, a shark that wouldn't even have been mutated if it wasn't for me!"

DJ considered this. "Yeah, you have a point..." And then reluctantly he moved aside and let Chris in through the doors to the packed hall at Niagara Falls which was filled with all sorts of people - paparazzi, the kooky, rednecks, Greenpeace, and of course plenty of ex-Total Drama contestants.

Some of those contestants had moved on to the entertainment industry. Brick and Ella were part of a group of people filming the event for a special of the show 'Say Yes to the Gown'. They'd taken care of all the attire for the wedding party, although Brick was more behind the scenes than Ella was. Jo was currently posing with her latest success story from her first season on the air on 'Canada's Biggest Fatties' - a very fit and trim Owen. Bridgette had gotten into doing some nature program on the side with her surfing career. And then there was Topher who had pretty much stolen Chris's thunder (and his career) who was the most famous of all of them. Oh, and the Drama Brothers had reunited for the hundredth time and were doing some songs for the wedding.

Now the current state of Chris couldn't even compare to all that - but of course these ex-contestants owed their success all to him. Some of them would have never gotten a break if it wasn't for him. They _all_ owed him. Especially the bride and groom of this event - after all, Total Drama had been quite the matchmaker. And since Chris practically owned Total Drama, HE had been behind it all really. Though this wasn't the first Total Drama wedding... or the first Total Drama divorce. Alejandro and Heather were the first Total Drama divorce. They lasted a grand total of two months and Chris could see Heather now glaring holes in her ex-husband from across the room.

"Heyyyy Chris McLean!" exclaimed a very exuberant Topher who slung an arm over Chris's shoulder.

"You." Chris addressed him with disdain, refusing to say his name, seething so much he must have been positively radiating with... well, _something_. And he wondered where Chef had gone off to? Chris was hoping to get in on that wedding gift Chef brought!

"I knew you'd be coming. Of course, if it hadn't been for you there wouldn't even be a wedding."

"Yes! That was exactly what I was saying," Chris was so relieved that someone was on his side, he temporarily forgave the younger, better looking version of himself for stealing his gig. "I should have been the best man, or at least the best person." They gave awards out at weddings for best people right? Chris couldn't remember, it had been that long since he'd been to a wedding - Heather and Alejandro's had been a shotgun wedding and Chris like everyone else found out after the fact. Not that he would have crashed their wedding since he thought they were the grossest couple ever.

"You're always the best person, buddy," Topher said patting Chris' arm a couple of times to the point that Chris thought he was trying to feel what was underneath his suit. "Anyways, where are you sitting? I'll make sure I come over and say hi later."

Chris ducked out from underneath Topher's arm. "Just one thing dude, you're not my buddy. And if you must know, I'll be sitting over there." Chris pointed to where a bunch of yokels were arguing with a smaller group of hippies, with Bridgette and Fang on either side of the table, rolling their eyes.

"With the wedding party?"

"Yep, I'm all about the wedding party." Chris squinted in order to see them better. "That's creepy, Scott's sister looks just like him. I thought that was Scott in a dress for a second there."

"Okay then, see you later."

No sooner had Topher disappeared (probably to go find some adoring fans of his) that Chris was stopped by a very angry looking Gwen. "What are you even doing here McLean?"

"The shark wanted me here... and Chef said I could come." Now his voice was getting a little bit whiny, but he couldn't help it. All these people should have been bowing to his greatnesss and now he had to crash a wedding just because he was hated by everyone... that was just messed up.

"Last I heard you didn't even get an invite."

"Oh com'on. Between the farm peoples and the hash growers over there, isn't it safe to say my invite got lost in the mail?"

Gwen crossed her arm over her chest. "Um, no."

"What do you even care? It's not like you're really friends with these people."

"Bridgette is my friend, and Bridgette is the maid of honor. And Scott and I have enough common ground that we get along," since they both had bad experiences due to that manipulative witch Courtney. "And that's rich of you Chris, to keep tabs on who I'm friends with."

"I keep up with Sierra's blogs, so sue me." Sierra had been put away in a mental institution for some time, but she was out now and still the number one Total Drama blogger, although she had claimed that she'd been rehabilitated.

"I won't, but Courtney might," Gwen said with a smug smile.

"Yeah, as if Courtney would come to her ex's wedding. I don't think I have to worry about her. Can you say persona non grata much?"

"Ughhh," Gwen threw her hands up. "Go make out with your fanboy or something," She walked away leaving Chris to go and sneak up to the kitchen and see what food he could specially order, you know, as part of the 'wedding party' and all.

After being kicked out of the kitchen Chris had missed most of the wedding. He was waved over by skinny Owen who gave him less of a bone crushing hug than Chris was used to by the happy-go-lucky guy.

"Chris McLean! Oh man, I missed you so much."

"Uh, yeah. I missed not being touched by you, as of a few seconds ago." _Translation: let him go already!_

"It's so beautiful!" Owen was sobbing. "Scott and that kooky chick. Who would have thought it?"

_Who would have thought that Owen was still a hugger?_ "Let go of me man!" Chris pushed him away.

"So have you seen Topher's new version of Total Drama. I want a piece of that action! But I don't want a piece of pie. When I was on 'Canada's Biggest Fatties' Jo would hit me with a cattle prod every time I started salivating over food. Now I don't crave anything but lettuce!"

"How does Jo have a bigger career than me? JO! I thought they only hired good looking people for television gigs."

Owen shrugged. "I don't know, dude. But I do know that I'm completely over pie... and chicken... and fries... and cake..." Owen brought his hands up to touch his fingers together nervously. "Now if you excuse me I need to go to the kitchen - I mean BATHROOM. Bathroom!"

Chris gave Owen a confused look as he took off. And then he spotted someone else sitting at the tables... someone that Chris actually wanted to catch up with. His old buddy... well, _sorta_.

"Hey, Duncan! Long time no see."

Duncan glared at him. His mohawk had been replaced with short black hair and he was looking more professional than he ever had in the past. "You're not sitting here McLean."

Chris turned to the nice girl sitting there who certainly wouldn't rebuff him. "And Zoey! Two of my past finalists sitting together, what are the odds?"

"Um, we came here together..." Zoey informed him, her hair was out of the trademark pigtails but she still had the flower in her hair.

"But what about Mike the former multiple?"

Zoey opened her mouth to answer him but Chris cut her off.

"Wait, don't care."

Duncan tapped his fingers on the table for a few times. "No, seriously McLean. You're not sitting here. And how did you even get invited to this wedding? Everyone hates you."

Chris glowered, pouting a little. It was true but he didn't have to say it! "The best man wanted me here. Support and all that."

"The shark?" Duncan was dubious.

"Yes, the shark. Why won't anyone believe me?"

Zoey frowned and reached out to touch Chris' hand. "I'm sorry Chris, we didn't know you were that close to Fang. It's wonderful for you to come and support your friend."

"Damn right it is," Chris agreed, taking a glass of champagne off of a tray that was offered to the table by a server and taking a sip. "What is that horrible noise? Justin is still trying to make music? How does anyone take THAT seriously?"

"You're kind of ruining our night," put in Duncan, ignoring the jibe about Justin even though he didn't like the guy much either.

"What was that Duncan? I couldn't hear it over that PRISON SENTENCE that you were supposed to be still serving for blowing up my HOUSE!" After Chris had sent Duncan (along with the other All Stars contestants) floating away to his doom, the lawyers had agreed that the best way to avoid a counter suit was to drop all charges against Duncan - much to Chris' chagrin.

"If I knew you were going to try to kill us all by putting us in balloons I would have blown up more than your stupid mansion!" Duncan shot back, where Zoey rubbed his back with a soothing motion to get him to calm down.

"And that's why I dropped the charges!"

"And that's why you'll be leaving right now," Duncan told him angrily, trying to look as threatening as possible which was hard when Zoey was leaning close to his ear and whispering to him.

"Pookie, I think Chris has learned his lesson. How about you tell him it's okay. I'm sure he feels bad about it."

Duncan heaved a sigh. "Okay."

"Pookie?" Chris snickered. _How lame was the big, scary Duncan now?_

"Yes, Pookie," Duncan leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Because I'm secure enough in my manhood to be called Pookie." He told him.

Chris fake coughed. "Whipped," he said through the cough.

Then there was a sound from up at the podium area, where the wedding party table was. Trent, who had been up playing guitar with the rest of his Drama Brothers spoke into the microphone before taking his seat back at one of the tables, "The best man and maid of honor would like to say a few words."

Fang got up with a tear in his eye, his tux popping over his sharky torso, and raised his glass and then dropped it all over the ground because raising glasses is awkward for sharks, even mutant ones. Dawn got up beside him.

"Fang would like to say that he is honored to be here today to share our special moment." She put her hand on his front and nodded in understanding to him, even though he hadn't said anything. "He says that when Scott gave him his tooth back it was the happiest day of his life and that he would have gone on hating Scott forever and continually trying to maul him if he hadn't gotten together with me. Awww, that's so sweet Fang."

The look on Scott's face was enough to show that he didn't think it was all that sweet.

"He says that being a mutant shark, he'd never had friends before... but when he saw that Scott was willing to protect the sharks, he knew he could leave everything in the past and that these two could be best friends. Also that because he saw Scott on TV in that shark suit, he knew that Scott had matured. And so he's happy that he can be with us today, as his friends."

Fang shoved both Dawn and Scott underneath his fins for a tight hug, grinning big for the cameras.

Next up was Bridgette who stood with her glass.

"Um, hi." Bridgette began and gave a small wave to Cody who was at the table with the Drama Brothers, skinny Owen and Noah and a few of the other original contestants of the show. "I met Dawn during the seventh season of Total Drama and immediately we clicked. She became my best friend and supported me through my own loves and losses," Bridgette's eyes found Cody's again.

"Anyway, it was after a major Fundraiser with all of us contestants that Dawn had told me that she gotten into a relationship with somebody. Of course I had been hoping that it was somebody different than who it was and when I found out that it was Scott, well, I had to check if she was sure. But I've really seen Dawn develop into a different person because of Scott. Scott, well, he causes her to be a little more assertive than she'd normally be," Bridgette let out a chuckle. "Scott challenges Dawn. And that's what being in a relationship is supposed to be about, challenging each other to be a better person and I can see that's what they do for each other. So here's to Scott and Dawn and may they continue to grow in challenges and steadfastness."

Everyone raised their glass to her toast.

Chris got up and started for the stage, bringing his glass to make his own toast. He grabbed the microphone quite rudely from Bridgette who was left there fuming.

"I know what you're all going to say, 'look there's Chris McLean looking as handsome as ever' and you'd be right, but I'm not here today for my own awesomeness. I'm here today to pay tribute to two of my former contestants who have found love. Even though they suffered a lot of pain," Chris chuckled a bit, "I mean a LOT of pain. Did you see what happened to Scott? Now that guy is a sucker for punishment. And then after that nasty dissing on air by Courtney... it's good that he found someone who'll put up with him, even if that someone was someone he screwed over in season four." Chris laughed again and wiped away a little tear from his eye while Dawn and Scott just looked at each other, half confused at why Chris was even up there. "Those were the good old days."

Chris gulped a bit of his drink and he could hear Chef saying "Oh boy" even when Chef was at the back of the room and he was at the front.

"The good old days before I was replaced by a younger, but not better looking me! You may be hot Topher, but you're no Chris McLean and when you've won as many Gemmies as me, then you can get my salary!"

Scott got up and started whispering to Fang, mid-rant.

Topher was shocked, he stood up with a frown. "But... but I love you Chris!"

Scott pushed Chris aside and took the microphone from him. "Okay McLean, Fang says you've got three minutes to get off the property, but I think he's a little more generous than my pappy who's giving you thirty seconds."

Scott's pappy, a larger threatening looking redhead with really bad teeth, stood up with a rifle pointed right at Chris, which of course almost made him wet himself as he gulped down the rest of his drink and make a beeline for the exit.

"Chrissssss! Wait for me!" yelled Topher as he followed him out the giant doors.

Scott smirked and even Dawn had a little twinkle in her eye. Normally she wouldn't be up for scaring people like that, but Chris McLean wasn't a person like everyone else, he deserved whatever he got.

"I think what that douche bag was trying to say," said Scott, still holding the microphone. "Was that I love you Dawn... oh yeah, and that he sucks and he wants his career back. What a loser."

Dawn leaned over and kissed him, "I love you too Scott. And yes, Chris McLean is a very disturbed person."

The whole audience '_Awww_'d' except for Heather who was still trying to ignore Alejandro who had been mouthing things in Spanish to her through the whole event and Chef who was still worried about where Chris and Topher got to, hoping someone wasn't going to get murdered.

But all in all, it was a pretty fantastic wedding.

* * *

_DJ is the WORST bouncer in the history of bouncers.  
_

_He'd probably just start crying and let anyone in._

_Chris and his protege Topher ruin everything... and I'm sure Chris isn't murdering him. ;)_

**_Merry Christmas once again dude!_**


End file.
